BEFORE SUNRISE
theres a lot of good things coming out of conflict
its a healthy process to rebel against everything that came before
i guess also its easier to have something to fight against
my parents are just these two people who didn’t like each other very much who decided to have a kid
and they try their hardest to be nice to me
they divorced finally
they should’ve done it much sooner
but they stuck around for the wellbeing of me and my sister
parents often use kids as some pawn against each other
i remember my mother said in front of me to my father that he’d never even wanted me
that i was some big mistake
i think that really shaped the way i saw the world
as this place where i really wasn’t meant to be
i eventually took pride in it
like my life was my own doing or something
like i was crashing this big party
there something strange when you’re young and you die
she was 13
and now I’m ten years older
and shes still 13
i know happy couples
but i think they lie to each other
who even knows if it would’ve worked out with him tho….people have these romantic projections they put on everything
they stare at each other in front of the whole congregation
and after some time
maybe a long time staring at each other
they’re married
don’t you think thats beautiful
i always have this strange feeling like I’m this very old woman laying down to die
like my life is just memories or something that i’m re-living
its strange.
for me i feel like I’m still that 13 year old boy, that doesn’t know how to be an adult, pretending that I’m living my life taking notes for when i’ll really have to do it , like this is all a dress rehearsal for some junior high play
how wonderful
they’re trying to shake off their genitals and become angels
love is this escape for two people who aren’t very good at being alone
i think id rather die knowing or at least thinking i was really good at something
or even having this hope
than try it
fuck up
and destroy another person
loving someone
being loved
it means so much (to me)
isn’t everything we do in life
some sort of way to be loved
i truly believe if theres any kind of god
its not in any of us , you or me, but just
this little space in between
if theres any kind of magic in this world it must be in the attempt of understanding someone sharing something
its almost impossible to succeed
but who cares really
the answer must be in the attempt
the poem
day-dream-delusion, limousine eyelash
oh baby with you’re pretty face drop a tear in my wineglass. look with those big eyes
see what u mean to me
sweet cakes and milkshakes
I’m a delusion angel
a fantasy parade, i want you to know what i think
(don’t want you to guess anymore)
no idea where i came from don’t know where im going
-i’ll carry you - you’ll carry me
thats how it could be !
don’t you know me, don’t you know me by now
i just like how he’s always leaning on stuff, he leans great
out on bail?
don’t forget people throwing themselves at other people is like the basis of civilisation
how come I have to be the 1 like analysing him in microscopic detail and he gets to be the one with other things on his mind
theres thinking about it, right, which i do all the time, like an obsession - it keeps me going, it like gets me through the day or something
its an obsession and if you make it real, its like
not yours anymore
you can’t control it
theres room for defeat
i don’t know
maybe i just want the fantasy of it
FRANCES HA
“It’s that thing when you’re with someone and you love them and they know it and they love you and you know it but it’s a party and you’re both talking to other people and you’re laughing and shining and you look across the room and catch each other’s eyes. But not because you’re possessive, or it’s precisely sexual, but because that is your person in this life and it’s funny and sad but only because this life will end and it’s this secret world that exists right there. In public. Unnoticed. That no one else knows about. It’s sort of like how they say that other dimensions exist all around us but we don’t have the ability to perceive them. That’s what I want out of a relationship. Or just life, I guess.”
“I’m so embarrassed. I’m not a real person yet.”
Don’t treat me like a three-hour brunch friend!”
“Sometimes it’s good to do what you’re supposed to when you’re supposed to do it.”
Andy: So what do you do?
Frances: Eh… It’s kinda hard to explain.
Andy: Because what you do is complicated?
Frances: Eh… Because I don’t really do it.
I’m doing awesome
• I like things that look like mistakes.
Lev Shapiro: Just because you bought dinner doesn't mean I'm gonna sleep with you.
Frances: I'm not trying to sleep with you.
Lev Shapiro: No, I was pretending to be a liberated woman.
LADYBIRD
corny quotes from ladybird
I guess I pay attention.
Don't you think maybe they are the same thing? Love and attention?
Different things can be sad... it's not all war
What you do is very baller, very anarchist.
Danny: She’s warm, but she’s also kind of scary.
Christine: You can’t be scary and warm.
Danny: I think you can, your mom is.
Money is not life's report card. Being successful doesn't mean anything in and of itself. It just means that you're successful. It doesn't mean that you're happy.
Hey, I'm not paying you to flirt.
I wasn't flirting.
I wish you had been.
its not important to be right
its only important to be true
HER
the past is just a story we tell ourselves
if you come home late and I'm already asleep, just whisper in my ear one little thought you had today.
sometimes I think I have felt everything I'm ever gonna feel, and from here on out I'm not gonna feel anything new... just... lesser versions of what I've already felt.
We are only here briefly and in this moment I want to allow myself joy.
It's like I'm reading a book and it's a book I deeply love. But I'm reading it slowly now. So the words are really far apart and the spaces between the words are almost infinite. I can still feel you, and the words of our story...but it's in this endless space between the words that I'm finding myself now.It's a place that's not of the physical world. It's where everything else is that I didn't even know existed. I love you so much. But this is where I am now. And this who I am now. And I need you to let me go. As much as I want to, I can't live your book any more.
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